Sober Bliss meets Sober Mummy is another inspiring and valuable shared conversation to offer advice and shed some light on different aspects of sober living and the challenges we face. Last week I spoke to Angie from Lifting Weights not Wine where we discussed how turning to exercise, in particular, weight lifting helped Angie in her sober journey and inspire so many others in theirs.
Today, I talk to the gorgeous Clare Pooley, also known as Sober Mummy and author of The Sober Diaries about what it is like to socialize sober, the worries we have and advice on how to do it successfully so we don’t feel weird. Clare is a truly wonderful, warm and generous person and her advice that she shared with me is honest, funny and enlightening. So, dig out your dancing shoes and read on!
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The first few times we go out as a sober person can be daunting, terrifying even, especially if all our past activities were ones where booze was the main attraction. For most of us, socializing and drinking are, or rather, were intertwined so the thought of going out and not drinking sounds impossible.
However, it is possible and not just possible but much more fun, rewarding and meaningful. Plus you will remember what you did, what you said, who you spoke to and where you left your phone when you wake up the next day – without a hangover! It is truly liberating to go out and not have to drink.
Watch the full interview and then scroll down for a round up and top tips on how to socialize sober.
I hope that this sober Bliss Meets Sober Mummy Interview gave you some food for thought on what it’s like when socializing sober, especially in the early days. Read on for the takeaways from the video and some more advice.
If your struggling then join the sober power course to kick start your new sober life.
It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous the first time you go out as a sober person. You just need some time to readjust to your new situation. It does get easier, the more you do it.
You will probably realize that people actually don’t drink that much anyway, so the fact that you’re not drinking at all is no big deal. You might find yourself becoming obsessed with how much people do or don’t drink though – new hobby for a while?
“You just need some time to readjust”
It helps to have a glass of something in your hand that looks like an alcoholic drink. Sparkling water with lime, a non alcoholic beer in a glass. Something which doesn’t scream NON DRINKER! If you’re self conscious then this will make you feel more relaxed, as if you’re still one of the crowd and will save you from having to answer awkward questions if you’re not yet ready.
Check out the alcohol free options on offer before you get there and if necessary take your own drinks if, like Clare you don’t want to be stuck with tap water or sickly sweet OJ.
Thankfully though, things are a ch-ch-changing so it’s a good opportunity to try some delicious alternatives like Seedlip or Kombucha (unless you live someplace like I do and you can’t even get coconut water!)
You will discover that your social pastimes will naturally diversify and you will drift away from what you used to do, towards more interesting activities like more cinema, theatre or concerts.
Day time activities are a great alternative and they usually don’t involve drinking anyway so you can still meet up with your friends but do something healthier and more meaningful.
If you can, take your own car to events so you can make a quick getaway when things get too much.
Don’t feel you have to stay at anything until the bitter end. Leave early if you need to and remember you don’t even have to hunt around for the host or say goodbye to anyone, they probably won’t even notice when you slip away into the night.
If you suddenly become tempted to think, one glass won’t hurt, then remember that when you break your rule once it becomes easier to break it again and again. Play the movie forward in your head if this happens and think ahead to how pants you will feel if you do end up drinking. Similarly, imagine how great and proud you will feel as you flop into bed and wake up all zingy the next day knowing you didn’t give in and are fresh as a daisy while everyone else at the party will have rotten hangovers!
Remember that this is only a few months of your whole new life ahead. It won’t be like this forever and it does get easier with time and practice. The more you flex your social sober muscles, they stronger they will become.
“Go easy on yourself.”
You don’t have to go to all the dos or be the life and soul of every party. If you don’t want to go out – then don’t.
If you have to go to a social event which is centered around drinking, then whizz in, only talk to the people you want to and whizz out again. Job done!
If you’re going to dance, and yes, you can dance sober! Then wear sensible shoes or take your shoes off – your feet will thank you for it!
Finally, be positive even if you’re stuck at some hideous venue. This is your journey that you are choosing to do. Focus on that. Having a drink will only make it worse.
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